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Friday, February 12, 2010

MOVIE REVIEW
Valentine's Day
L.A. = Love.  Actually?






Love, love, love - and legs eleven: top - Jessica Alba and Ashton Kutcher; middle - Patrick Dempsey and Jennifer  Garner and bottom - Anne Hathaway and Topher Grace in Garry Marshall's "Valentine's Day", which opened today in the U.S. and Canada.   Warner Brothers

By Omar P.L. Moore/PopcornReel.com
Friday, February 12, 2010

"Valentine's Day" seems less comfortable with itself as a film than it does an occasion.
  Garry Marshall directs a veritable ensemble of familiars, stitched together by queasy editing.  The film is set in L.A. on -- of course -- February 14.

Assorted ups and downs transpire in the game of love, almost all of which are predictable.
  One could be forgiven for thinking that the film, which opened today across the U.S. and Canada, feels like "Love Actually" but the length of this "Valentine" is painful -- one arduous exercise in endurance and epic emptiness. 

There's a gag reel during the end credits -- and it makes us gag, not laugh.  There's a lame attempt at harkening back to one of Mr. Marshall's previous films and when an actor speaks about one of them, exasperation can be felt from miles away.

 
Mr. Marshall's film seems to titter nervously at the notion of romance between men and between members of different races, demonstrating an edgy disposition even in scenes of relative discretion.  These moments are often offset by many unfunny episodes, including one that very briefly involves a hysterical man resembling Mickey Rooney's offensive apartment super character in "Breakfast At Tiffany's".

"Valentine's Day" has more than its fair share of vapid characters (is this Mr. Marshall's internal commentary about L.A.?) -- and numerous turncoats.  There are certain characters who behave against type, both for the sake of expediency and a choppy screenplay by Katherine Fugate.  Her script is filled with inane dialogue and works itself into a lather trying to make you laugh.  Almost two-dozen actors populate this troubled landscape of a film, and not one of them gets the job done to satisfaction, and this includes Oscar-winning actors Jamie Foxx, Julia Roberts and Shirley MacLaine.

It's a well-known fact that women have fared poorly in Hollywood romantic comedies of late (a decade or more).  Though the film takes place in one day, the Jessica Alba, Jennifer Garner and Anne Hathaway characters are all introduced seemingly either legs first, in bed, half-naked or all three.  Make no mistake, each of these women are beautiful, attractive and smart, but their characters -- in fact, almost all the women in the film -- are depicted as anything but smart. 

And some of the men aren't exempt from the Tinseltown tomfoolery either.  As in recent films like "It's Complicated", the silly-man frolic routine is in effect in "Valentine's Day".
  Looking crazy or being nutty has been in vogue a lot, while any notion of intelligent comedy rapidly vanishes from the viscera. 

'Tis a shame. 

I mean,
I love comedy like the next person, but lately too much silver screen stupidity has been paraded for sale, and alas, Hollywood just keeps on beckoning, "come to daddy."

With: Patrick Dempsey, Topher Grace, Hector Elizondo, Kathy Bates, Emma Roberts, Jessica Biel, Bradley Cooper, Taylor Lautner, Taylor Swift, Eric Dane, Queen Latifah, Carter Jenkins, Cleo King, Kathleen Marshall, George Lopez, Matthew Walker, Bryce Robinson, Christine Lakin, Erin Matthews, Calvin Jung.

"Valentine's Day" is rated PG-13 by the Motion Picture Association Of America for some sexual material and brief partial nudity.  The film's running time is two hours and five minutes.


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Read more movie reviews and stories from Omar here.

Read Omar's "Far-Flung Correspondent" reports for America's pre-eminent Film Critic Roger Ebert in the Chicago Sun-Times - here



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