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Wednesday, November 24, 2010
MOVIE REVIEW
Faster
Le Homme Nikita Spaghetti
Terminator. Grunt, Grunt.
Dwayne Johnson as Driver in George Tillman Jr.'s "Faster".
CBS Films
by
Omar P.L. Moore/PopcornReel.com
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Wednesday,
November 24, 2010
"Faster", a paltry 1970s grindhouse rendition of Sergio Leone's "The Good,
The Bad
And The Ugly", is a silly, lumbering spaghetti jumble of the foolish and
ridiculous. The film opened across the U.S. and Canada today.
George Tillman Jr.'s film marks Dwayne Johnson's return to full-blooded action
pictures, and the very first shot in this revenge story is of the sweaty,
pulsing biceps (or is it pecs?) of Mr. Johnson, just to remind you of what
you've missed since the lightweight 2005 action film "Walking Tall". Mr.
Johnson, an above-average performer in films like
"Gridiron Gang", grimaces his way through "Faster" with a miasma of
anguished and angry facial expressions, usually introduced just prior to sending
another of his onscreen brother's killers to hell. Other times, his
character is wound so tight that his face muscles barely move. Note: none
of this is Botox-aided.
Mr. Johnson stars as the vengeful Driver, an ex-convict whose brother was killed
in a botched heist right before his very eyes not so long ago. A bizarre,
disinterested Cop (Billy Bob Thornton) tries to stop Driver, all diesel, head
shaped like a bullet, from splattering every disagreeable person's brains across
the desert town of Bakersfield, California, where much of this sloppy, violent
pulp is set.
As if "Faster" (whose explained title makes little sense) needed another
character to keep the audience focused, there's a Jake Gyllenhaal look-alike
with an English accent who headlines as Killer (Oliver Jackson-Cohen), which he
most certainly is. Killer's tall, ego-centric character -- even after you
realize his true purpose -- is ancillary to Mr. Tillman's film. (Killer,
incidentally, has a ringtone on his phone that, surprise, surprise, is Ennio
Morricone's theme from "The Good, The Bad And The Ugly".)
While Cop is looking to bolster the fortunes of his inapposite son, and Driver
is stoking himself into a rage before his next victim meets his fate, Killer is
trying to propose to his girlfriend. The audience won't care too much
about this or anything else in "Faster", a master disaster that the most ardent
action fans will be turned off by. Some of Tony and Joe Gayton's scripted
lines early on are laugh-out loud funny not because they are hilarious but
because you are embarrassed by just how pathetic they are.
This film, as directed by Mr. Tillman Jr. (what was he thinking with this poor
effort?) makes many of the Jason Statham films like the "Crank" series or
"Death Race" seem entertaining by comparison.
At least you'll be able to muster more laughs from those movies. "Faster"
on the other hand, knows only one speed and destination: Blu-Ray, in three
months, tops.
With: Carla Gugino, Maggie Grace, Mike Epps, Adewale Akinnoye-Agbaje, Tom
Berenger, Xander Berkeley, Moon Bloodgood, Julius Tennon.
"Faster" is rated R by the Motion
Picture Association Of America for strong violence, some drug use and language.
The film's running time is one hour and 43 minutes.
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