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Sunday, February 20, 2011
MOVIE REVIEW
I Am Number Four
A Forgettable Number, And Far From
Fantastic
Alex Pettyfer as John Smith in "I Am Number Four", directed by D.J.
Caruso.
Touchstone Pictures
by
Omar P.L. Moore/PopcornReel.com
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Sunday,
February 20, 2011
Playing like an afterschool special, "I Am Number Four" is a sci-fi suspense
drama backed by a soundtrack and elements evoking "Transformers 2" or "Terminator 2".
Occasionally decibel-crunching, D.J. Caruso's film, produced by Michael Bay, echoes
parts of "Smallville"
and "Race To Witch Mountain", but uses
them poorly to create an unruly jumble of scenes and recycled people trying to suppress
superpowers ala the Incredible Hulk.
(Jack McGee isn't around the corner to push buttons.)
Despite his name,
John Smith (Alex Pettyfer) is from another planet and on a target list of
non-Earthlings marked for death. We're not completely sure why.
Three of his kind have died before him. John is next. Several "Mogadorians", over-sized Terminator-like
"trench coat mafia" creatures with Austrian or German-sounding accents, are
on John's trail.
Like an action doll with accessories, John comes complete with his own
other-world mentor Henri (Timothy Olyphant,
"Hitman"), who keeps him on the
straight and narrow as he traipses through his assumed home and high school in
Ohio. John will meet a pretty young lady named Sarah (Dianna Agron,
"Glee".)
He'll meet the kind of schoolyard bully that Marty McFly did in "Back To
The Future". You get the idea.
John comes from an assembly line of surfer-type movie figures: buff, blond "Blue
Lagoon"-like, looking like a younger, less-smart "Point Break" Swayze, slightly
out of his depth. You hope Hollywood uses more nerds or physically
unappealing types who flounder but make things happen ("Napoleon Dynamite",
"Scott Pilgrim", "Kick-Ass",
to name a few.) Those films poked fun at themselves and their genre.
"Number Four" however is all serious, all the time. Dry and lacking focus,
it has not an ounce of personality or charisma. "I Am Number Four" is
based on the novel of the same name, written by Jobie Hughes and James Frey,
whose joint pen name on the book is "Pittacus Lore".
"I Am Number Four", which opened in the U.S. and Canada on Friday, limps like a
maimed dog. (The film stars an adorable Bassett hound.) It rattles
like a pinball, ricocheting all over the movie map. Mr. Caruso has
directed films about teen or 20-something males in peril ("Disturbia",
"Eagle Eye".)
Like its hero the director's latest film is never comfortable. Awkward is
the best way to describe "I Am Number Four". Tiresome and hackneyed are
others.
Many characters and events are dropped in and dispatched solely for narrative
convenience. You want to shout at some characters, "so nice of you to join
us!" Or lob tomatoes at the screen. Loose ends don't fit.
There's little explanation for much of what intermittently blazes across the
screen, in what feels like outtakes from other films. In a desperate
attempt to sustain itself Mr. Caruso's film reaches for the top shelf of movie
clichés but instead hits rock bottom. You can see "I Am Number Four"
trying to engage you but in the cheapest, laziest ways possible. It tries
so hard you almost feel sorry for it. Huffing and puffing, it blows its
own house down, inferno-style.
With: Callan McAuliffe, Teresa Palmer, Kevin Durand, Jake Abel, Patrick Sebes,
Emily Wickersham, Brian Howe, Andy Owen, Judith Hoag, Cooper Thornton.
"I Am Number Four" is rated PG-13 by the Motion Picture Association Of
America for intense sequences of violence and action, and for language. The film's running time is one hour and
50 minutes.
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