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Thursday, December 24, 2009

MOVIE REVIEW
Alvin And The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel

Feeling Chippy And Not At All Groovy


A for Awful: Simon, Alvin and Theodore are back for round two in "Alvin And The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel", which opened yesterday.    Fox

By Omar P.L. Moore/PopcornReel.com
Thursday, December 24, 2009

Do you like seeing old ladies in wheelchairs falling backwards down staircases?  Or a weak story with tired, predictable gags?  If so, then "Alvin And The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel", which opened yesterday, is yours for the taking.  For the rest of us, a small few of whom may have liked the original hit film from 2007, this latest is a movie to skip, and then some.

Some kids will relish in the chirpy, high-pitched monstrosities, appallingly punchless gags and adults humiliated or humiliating in this new film directed by Betty Thomas, responsible for such films as "Private Parts".  Adults should bring earplugs or a pair of Bose Quiet Comfort headphones plus a blindfold as they accompany their children to this forgettable and empty encounter.

School's in, and Alvin and his brothers Simon and Theodore return, their rock-star status intact.  They have the opportunity to sing for the school in a contest.  Alvin has a chance to join the school football team to curry favor with an insecure bully (an oxymoron if there ever was one.)  They run afoul of returning nemesis Ian, a bespectacled cretin (David Cross) now managing a trio of singing Chipettes (voiced by Christina Applegate, Anna Faris and Amy Poehler), a shameless rip-off of Beyonce and Destiny's Child.  The lead Chipette's name is Brittany.  And there's much more where that came from.

I'll cut to the chase: there's not one original idea in this painful experience of a film designed for extremely short-attention spans and hollow, robotic laugh-tracks.  If you can endure the thankless task of making it through such a brainless, repetitive and often mean-spirited PG-rated film, you deserve some kind of accolade.  I merely want back time I can never get back.  After seeing Ms. Thomas' film, is the impossible too much to ask?


With: Zachary Levi, Wendie Malick, Jason Lee, Kathryn Joosten and the voices of Justin Long, Matthew Gray Guber, Jesse McCartney.

"Alvin And The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel" is rated PG by the Motion Picture Association Of America for some mild rude humor.  The film's running time is one hour and 42 minutes.  If your child begs you, take them but deduct the cost of your ticket from their allowance.      

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Read more movie reviews and stories from Omar here.
   

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